I really liked Tom Fulp's biography style so I've decided to make one myself in a similar style.

Beginning with my good ol' "young" years.

0 - 7 " A growing oddity "

- Those were the years that I lived in Russia, having spent 95% of those years at the University and the rest in some other apartment in Moscow.

- At very young age, when I was cuddling our cat name Jessica, she gave me a huge scratch with her on my face...
Since then I am very afraid of female cats.

- My father had a friend name "Ed" and he was the mid-slacker type, loved to play games, studied some but I suspect he played more often though.
He played StarCraft with me and always won, except one time, I ran into his base, and magically was capable of building a Warp Gate and destroying him with Zealots...
My father, when I told him that I won, told that Ed simply let me win.
After that, I called Ed an idiot, my father made me apologize to him later.

- One day I was wandering through the University, and stumbled upon a pile of building garbage (there were some repairs), and I decided to step on it for some reason...
I just got a cold feeling and walked off of it, not realizing what happened, I then bent my leg to see what happened and saw a fucking hole in my shoe, also, the hole went on through my foot... I fucking stepped on a nail.
FUCK ouch.
I still whimper when I remember that moment.

- We had this awful food at our creche which no-one liked, I however liked the soup with meatballs in it, no-one else did though, and everyone knew I loved the meatballs, so at the start of the eating, I had meatballs with soup-sauce. Everytime.

- I had a very good friend at our creche, with whom I had a lot of fun time since we read with him, invented cool games, and made fun of other kids at the creche thinking of them as stupid idiots :P
The funniest time with him that I had was when the woman looking after us all left to get coffee or something, we went to look out for when she would come, because we were discussing which word was funnier: "ass" or "backside" (note: These two words sound WAY funnier in Russian), we finished on deciding that both those words were hilarious :)

- When we went to sleep in that creche, we could see a house with apartments across the street and one of those windows was ghastly RED.
So, naturally, all the "dumb" kids were pretty afraid of that room, and sometimes, we could see a woman walk behind the curtains.
In Russian Culture you have the "Old Witch" (Baba Yaga) who is evil and bad most of the time, so first me and my friend told the other kids that it was her in the room, and then my friend stood up in his bed and said he'd protect them from her and one day she would fall.
Funny thing is, one day the red light vanished from the house..
I always missed it... and I always will... sigh...

One of the supervisors at the creche was a bitch a bitch and a bitch.
She was a mean <...> because she did horrible things to kids, hitting them, or grabbing them by their hair and locking them up in a closet.
She did that to me a couple of times, and then I told my parents, my father was angry as fuck at that, and so was his mother, so they went with me to the creche, there also was a policeman, that woman, and some other people, I had to testify.
But damn me I apparently lost my grip and said that I said it wasn't true... I think I just didn't have the right setting of mind to give that woman out...
I so would've done that now....
But my father never understood it and asked me on multiple occasions later in life why the hell I said that it wasn't true.
However, this incident did get me out of the stupid creche and I was capable of watching Sesamstreet fully after that! Hell yeah! Never met my best friend after that though.

- The university I was at was a very tall building, and the wind on the upper level was very powerful, so me and my friends went as high as we could, and found a room which was empty and open (lots of those rooms were there)
We went inside, opened the doors and started looking outside, I placed my hand on the space where the window fits in when it closes.
We had closed all the doors in the room.
Then, suddenly someone opened the door to come in, the window we were looking out immediately slammed closed and hell broke loose.
Next a couple of things started happening at the same time, my closest friend started yelling at the one who came in for his stupidity, I was doing my best trying to pull out my hand, then the door closed and we opened the window.
the skin on that place looked as if it... well... it was a big flap of skin hanging from the side of my hand, and it hurt like hell, my grandma healed it later.
I learned my lesson with windows and bad weather.

- I ate sand at the age of 2-4.
It's fucking tasty, believe me or scram it!

MORE STORIES COMING IN THIS PART LATER.